My Pierogie Pie

The only place you can good pizza from where ever you are to Japan is in Pennsylvania. End of discussion.

Ask anyone whom ever moved away from PA and came back for visit what the 1st thing they want when roll into town is. If its not a Philly Cheese Steak, its a Pizza. Even if it is a Philly Cheese Steak, the next thing they'll want is an effin pizza! Its not just one thing that makes ours stand out from the rest - its everything. Each place has its own take on delicate sauces, soft doughs, and wonderful blends of cheeses that come together to make a greasy masterpiece that around here we simply refer to as "Pie".

One of my regular haunts got rid of one of my favorite types of Pie, the "Pierogie Pizza Pie", which is simply the delectable insides of a traditional Pierogie smeared on a crust. So i thought I'd try to make one for hoots n' hollers.

We start with the potato. This is no ordinary potato, although i found it happily besides the regular batch. This specific potato couldve ended the Potato famine, all on its own, as you can see:


Attack!! Of the killer PO-TAAAA-TOES!!!

This bitch isn't getting away so easy



After I bring an untimely fate to that squirrely potato i throw in the pot to boil. In retrospect, cutting the pieces more uniform in size may have assured a more uniform cook... BUT hindsight's always 20/20, and in short...fuck it.

This ain't Kitchen Stadium.

Boil Boil Toil and Trouble!!

While i wait for that to boil, i chop up my onion, because onion goes in pierogies!! Good and good for you!

Smells like that guy at work i call "Onions"

AHhhhh, still no boil!!? I guess I'll have a sweet lebonon bologna break, i hear it makes ya smart. You cant get it most regions of our country...tell ya anything?

If it wasn't for spiced meats I'd be a vegetarian

Hmmm, still no boil??? I guess i could grate some mozzarella while i wait.

I hanker for a hunk of - a slab, a slice, a chunk of....

Next i chop up the bacon. Why bacon you ask? Bacon doesn't go in pierogie! Well fuck you. This my pie and I say it gets bacon. SO says I!!

Stock Photo

OK The potatoes are almost done so I'm ready to start frying up the bacon. Once that starts to get good and crispy i throw in the onions because I really don't feel like dirtying another pan. Anyway, the bacon grease brings out the flavor in everything. Am i right?? huh? huh? right?


Yeah, I think I'm right

OK, now that that's going - I'm gotta make my mashed potatoes. My guess is making them how you like them will make this Pie taste the way you like it. You follow? I personally have a secret ingredient that goes into my mashed potatoes that makes them absolutely SING!! Soooo if you don't mind turning around for a second while i add it, I really would feel more comfortable. OK don't look. You're not looking right? Promise you wont look?? Ok, here it goes...

ACK!! You looked!! DAAAAAH!!!

Well I guess the cats outta the bag huh??!! I add Hellmenns Mayo to my mashed taters!! I hope you're happy. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Ya know what?? Lets put that all behind us. We're here for the pie after all, am i right?? Ok....Sooo, I smeared the smashed tater on the pie then sprinkled on a nice amount of cheese and topped it with my bacon & onions.

How could this quite possibly go wrong??

Yes, i do plan on eating those both.

So throw it in the oven and write a blog while you wait. I actually wrote this blog while i waited! See I can be productive.

AAannnnd.... here it is:

~My Pierogie Pie~

Hmmm. That doesnt look quite done yet.

do dit do doo dit do doo dit doo doo doo dit do.
Spiderman spiderman freindly neighborhood spiderman...
do dit do doo dit do doo dit doo doo doo dit do.

Ok, lets try this again..

Annnnd here it is!!! MY PIEROGIE PIE!!

Aw yeah bebe, mucho better

WAIT!! ....before you eat it I have to say one more thing. The correct way to eat pie is NOT with a fork & knife! That will certainly piss off any Pennsylvanian within an eyeshot. Its a despicable way to eat pie and if you happen to live in PA and you eat it like this......weeelll, you might as well walk around waving a flag that says "I'm not from here". Its fucking blasphemy. You look like an idiot & now you dont have any freinds. Trust me on this. Pick it up and eat with your hands or dont eat it all.

I just shove my fuckin face in it, you only live once. I gatta tell ya this is Motherfuckin delicious. Wish you all were here to share.

Get in my bellaaaaay!

Ok kids!! Thats I got time for today, I hope you all had as much fun as i did!!

Take care and remember - Eat it with your hands, Life is better messy!!

So says I!!